


Royal Dissent

by opaliaus



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, King Alistair, Post-Dragon Age: Origins, Queen Tabris
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-30 18:43:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12659226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opaliaus/pseuds/opaliaus
Summary: But of all the things they had shared, there was one with which Alistair had been resoundingly clear: he didn't want to be king.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> written for day two of #alistair week // king alistair

He hadn't wanted to be king.

Over the course of the Blight they had gotten close, shared things with one another they hadn't anyone else. Some realizations had been more assured, other revelations cast out into the night as blundering admissions hung heavily in the air between them when they settled to sleep. She was afraid of dying, as fearless as she appeared. She was afraid of dying because that meant she could no longer look after her family. He was just generally afraid. Of failure, he supposed. He would have hated to be a disappointment to Duncan, to Ferelden, to his friends. 

But of all the things they had shared, there was one with which Alistair had been resoundingly clear: he didn't want to be king. Every single day he woke with the thought, dreading the responsibility cast upon him. Even as a Grey Warden he hadn’t felt inspired to lead. The most useful he felt in his life and he was satisfied to assist, to do as instructed. The people around him insisted he was a natural - and he was, when it came to socializing, having unimportant conversations with nobles, drawing a laugh at a ball. But when it came to policy and manipulation and all the necessary skills to ensure a solid future for his people, he was lacking. It was the anxiety that made him write the letter, or maybe a hope to see her while she was still in Denerim. It hadn’t been long, hadn’t been heartfelt. Desperate and tired, if anything, all culminating to the question -  _ why _ ?

“I trust you.” She said the words with heat reserved for a swear, her fists resting on her hips as she glowered towards the window. “That's why.”

“Anora should have been… Anora  _ knew what she was doing. _ ”

“You can learn!” Sina's eyes snapped towards him and Alistair paused in his nervous pacing to stare at her. “I-... It was all empty promises,” she finally muttered, her shoulders collapsing as she scrubbed at her face. “Being bann, being Ferelden's hero… In a generation all of this will be forgotten. Fancy titles change nothing for the people in the alienage. Whatever she said, Anora had other priorities. I can't fault her for doing what she thought best, but she's still a shem. You cared for me, at least. You met my family. You'll think of us when you rule. At least… you could. Maybe you hate me for this now and you won't…”

“It's like you said. Everyone's out for themselves.” Alistair clenched his jaw as Sina hesitantly met his gaze. What upset him the most was that he'd been foolish enough to think he could make his own decisions. That he could be a warden. That he could live the life he wanted with the people he cared for. “I’ll always love you.”

“The lives of my people are more important than a silly little…” Sina folded her arms across her chest and sighed. Her eyes were wet when she looked towards Alistair again. “You mean more to me than I’d wish any human to, but I'll make the sacrifice.”

“You've made the decision for the both of us. We've sacrificed more than enough already.”

“Your advisors will find you a wife.”

“I don't want whoever they'd pick.” He knew he had no choice as king, a tainted monarch who wouldn't have the option of a long reign. They'd discussed as much already. Sina would leave, go on to live her life as a Warden while Alistair did his best at court. It frustrated him to know on top of it all, Sina had faith that he would do well. And he had to, otherwise there would be no point of the misery they were both due to face in the future, being apart from one another.

They stared at each other for several moments before Alistair turned his glare onto the doorway and Sina turned away from him. This was a mistake, allowing himself to be crowned, allowing himself to be driven towards a fate made by someone else. Ferelden would suffer in the time it took him to learn, but for her he'd make sure the elves thrived. “Don't worry about the elves, Sina. I'll treat them as if they were my own people.”


	2. Chapter 2

He was still getting used to all the things he could do and Alistair could tell by her flashing eyes that Sina hadn’t appreciated the royal guards sent to the alienage to escort her back to the palace. A more intelligent man would have engaged in some correspondence prior, or asked for her company during the day, or at least had a small sample of imported chocolates for her or something romantic to that extent, but upon seeing her any and all composure he had once had vanished. 

“Will you marry me?”

It wasn’t a phrase Sina ever thought she would hear - not before, and certainly not after everything. Because she assumed her father would be the one to deal with the headache of finding her a match, because she'd stopped thinking decisively about the future, certain she'd die trying to stop the Blight or insulting one too many humans on the way. Because marriage - though she'd wanted it, craved it as an impressionable youth eager to have children and raise them sharp against the shem - seemed like a facet of a simpler life she could never go back to. How was she to settle in the alienage now when she had the opportunity to badger and berate all the indebted humans into  _ doing _ something for her people? It wasn't as easy as that, surely, but she had the chance now to try. That was more valuable than any happy life she could make for herself, not that she'd even manage to be happy, knowing she had this opportunity to be heard and that she had wasted it. 

“Sina?”

If she could even strain her mind enough to consider it, Alistair was never the man by her side. Not at a wedding. As much as she loved him, he had a new path ahead of him now, one she'd pushed him towards without regret. Because he loved her, he would try. That much she knew, that her hardened but earnest lover would always remember her, and always think of her, and hopefully always try to do right by her. That gave the elves more hope than any other noble ever could. And with that set she'd leave him. And if ever there chance to marry came… it would be to an elf. Because the entire purpose was to survive and maintain, and there would never be another human she trusted enough to give herself to him in that way. 

“Sina, did you… Did you hear my question?”

“I was asleep,” she mumbled dumbly.

“Sorry, should I ask again?”

“I…” She stared at Alistair for several moments, unable to make sense of the foolhardy suggestion. “I don't know anything about human politics. Any politics,” Sina amended. There was a skill to deciding matches for marriage between alienages, and at times an individual or family might exasperate the general community to a point of no one wanting to aid them without a reward, but overall, Sina was unfamiliar with craft of weaving lies required to keep power. The subtleties didn't feel challenging - she was observant, preferred to remain silent until she understood a situation fully - but she wasn't fond of pretending to sound like honey when she felt like a storm was trapped beneath her ribs. That was likely something bred into noble stock. 

“You’re wise,” Alistair offered. “You're driven, you're caring, clever.” He smiled at her frown. “Above all else, you are the woman I love. I would gladly renounce this crown to be by your side - Maker I don't even want the thing - but I believe this is an opportunity that could better you much more than it ever could me. The Queen of Ferelden, an elf. An elf with power. An elf with influence. An elf joined to the Theirin line. It would forever change this nation. Change the lot of your people.”

Sina tugged on the tips of her fingers, studying Alistair as he watched her. He met her eyes with all the confidence in the world, sure of his words, even if she wasn't. That all sounded like a fantasy. A fever dream. Something only the youngest children in the alienage could come up with. She smiled to herself as she recalled the faces, her expression twisting to remember the hollow cheeks and dark eyes. To be the Warden that stopped the Blight was wonderful. To have songs sung, to have her name canonized amongst alienages everywhere as a synonym for bravery and hope… it was more than she could dare to dream at times. But none of that was lasting. When enough generations passed, those beyond the walls of the alienages would assert she was a human. She knew it was a dangerous skill of theirs, to twist history in their favor, to erase the blemishes that might add too many colors to their preferred picture. 

There was no way they could erase a queen. 


	3. Chapter 3

“This is ridiculous.”

“Is that a no?”

Sina smiled wryly and glanced away. She knew humans more intimately than Alistair ever would. So long as he was one of them he'd never know the true measure of their cruelty. They could be terrible to their own, there was no denying that. Somehow, they found it within themselves to act even worse to those unlike them. To treat her like an equal would be to incite riots. Perhaps an uprising. There would be blood in the streets, most of which would likely belong to elves. It was foolishly optimistic to think she could accept the proposal and actually rule alongside Alistair. All of this was foolish, yet Sina knew better than to think Alistair was just being hopeful. 

He’d matured a fair amount since meeting him, not that she believed he was a childish fool to begin with - he couldn’t truly have been living the life he’d led. He seemed a bit more stern now, but his enthusiasm hadn’t left him completely. This question wasn't born from faulty optimism. Alistair knew he had to let her go, that they couldn't be with one another the way they wanted. But he also knew this was a time for change. As the nation repaired, it could be built better. Sina knew humans never gave anything freely. Dignity and equality were things to be taken.

“Elves will die if I say yes,” Sina finally said. She stepped away from Alistair and sighed, narrowing her eyes at a garish painting of a monarch that must have been an ancestor of the man she was contemplating marrying. She shifted her focus to the mabari hound sitting at their feet instead, breathing deeply and slowly to try and calm the dread stirring up at her decision. “Elves will die if I say no. Elves die every day, for no good reason.”

“Yes,” Alistair started. “It takes so little… As you said, too many humans see elves as nothing.” He paused, hesitating, picking his words carefully. Sina turned to look towards him, watching him inspect his hands, as though they had had anything to do with the general situation of her people. It touched her a bit to hear that he’d thought about her words in the alienage, back when he’d met her family. She’d been irritated and frustrated then - when wasn’t she? - but having Alistair in the place where she’d been born and raised had brought everything to a head. Suddenly, he’d been as ignorant as everyone else, as foolish and useless and  _ dumb _ . She could have been gentler, talking to him calmly instead of snapping at his ignorant questions, but he’d never really known her to be gentle and she wasn’t one to change herself. What had upset her the most was fearing an end to their relationship. She knew she’d been within her right to educate him, that if he’d felt insulted or hurt for her informing him of his own privileges then he wasn’t worth her time anyway. She’d known all of that, but still she’d worried. 

Now the man wanted to marry her, despite all the trouble it’d cause.

“We don't treat your people as people at all,” Alistair continued, finding his voice again. Sina shifted under his gaze, impressed by it and the certainty in his voice. His mind wasn’t clouded with questions. In this moment, he existed without any doubt. “Tomorrow another noble will feel the need to take what isn’t his and another brave elf will do what's just. I want her to be allowed to protect herself without repercussions. I will do all I can to make that so. But I want to know these changes will last long after my rule, and so long as humans refuse to see elves for what they are…”

It was touching. Insulting too, in a way. He was already thinking strategically enough to know what his people needed. They needed to see an elf dressed up and proper, an elf unlike all the savages they imagined her race to be. Sina would be the exception that would allow the rest to be left alone, because there had to be a few more out there like the queen. Decent and humanlike.

“I won’t let either of us be miserable to make things easier for Ferelden. You’re better than a great deal of humans I’ve known. The very least I can do for you is try.” Alistair sighed and glanced upwards, his expression softening into a look Sina could recognize, the unfocused gaze that tracked her around a campfire long after their companions had retired. “I don’t know what I’m doing yet, but I know you make me a better man. It’s not your job to, and I’m not asking you to, but I suppose I’m selfish enough to ask you to face a lifetime of scrutiny to be by my side.”

“How romantic,” Sina puffed quietly. 

“I know,” Alistair laughed before shaking his head apologetically. “But it’s as I said before, Sina, during the Blight. I can't imagine being without you. Not ever. I said we’d go our separate ways but every day I think of you.” Alistair had written too many unsent letters. Sina might have refused, but eventually they would be sent, begging her to return to him and if she ever accepted them then the court would talk. “I won’t have the world thinking of you as my elven mistress. You deserve all the rights I have. I wouldn’t even be here if not for you…” His eyes studied her, a smile brightening his face despite his anxiety. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Sina sighed, stepping closer to caress his face. She brushed her thumbs over Alistair’s freckles, distracted by the number of them and her desire to try and count them. He'd told her that after a lifetime together she'd surely have the number memorized. It'd seemed like such a foolishly enamored thing to say then, but everything he had said now made her want him more than ever before. His awareness and desperation to have her, to make the world better for her,  _ with _ her… “I'll be your queen, Alistair.”


End file.
